The thought to share my writing has been swimming in my head since I was a young girl. The feeling that I have something special to give, to shine out, has always filled me. The idea that all beings have a unique and important perspective has always been true to me.
Yet...
I have been afraid. Oh, have I been afraid. For so long, in so many ways and of so many things. What will you think? What if you don't like me? What if you like me a little bit but don't love me the most? What if I make a mistake? What if you disagree? What if I change my mind? What if someone else can do it better? What if...
It's a double life. There's the actual me: human and shining, loving and dancing, fiercely singing and laughing, smart and so bright. Then there's the me that is walking about, half-heartedly living my life: self-effacing, unsure, sensitive, probably not good enough. If only I could let the shining part out to do the living. If only I felt more confident!
The word confidence means "with faith." A very wise friend once told me that faith is not a feeling, but an action. So today, even though I feel nervous, I choose to live with confidence, as a demonstration of my faith in the universe, in humanity, and in the gifts special to my soul.
I am venturing out, starting a practice doing what I'm called to do, guiding others towards wellness, towards the wealth of their being. As an ice-breaker, a christening, I share this piece, the beginning what I hope to be a helpful resource. One thing my work (so far) has taught me is that I am not alone with my apprehensions and trepidations. If I do not make peace with what is emanating from within me, how can I truly claim to be well? How can I help others to be so? My experience is that eating all the best foods, working out at peak levels and drinking plenty of water is not enough. Until I act with confidence, with faith in my and your inherent sweetness and goodness, the physical world will never be enough; I'll be left seeking more.
So if you're a seeker, searching for a brighter experience today, why not start by sharing your truth with another? Even if you think it's ugly, even if it's not the best ever of all time, why not? What if it helps that friend to share theirs? What if it helps you both to feel more connected? What if it's hilarious? What if everyone had the confidence to shine their bright light? What if....?
(did you find it!? hiding inside W H A T I F is F A I T H)
